We’re in the middle of a teaching series at church called the Advent Conspiracy.  More than a teaching series, Advent Conspiracy is a different way of viewing the holidays and the overwhelming spending and consumerism that typically overshadows any sort of reference to the birth of Jesus.  Even this week I’ve heard several people respond with panic, dread, and stress at the mention of the coming holiday.  Why would we panic at the coming celebration of the birth of our savior?  Maybe because we can’t see past the lists of parties, purchases, recipes, and stressful gatherings.

Advent Conspiracy dares us to flip our usual holiday routine on its head and do things differently.  Spend less on things we don’t need.  Simplify those elaborate plans.  Give more to other people who have real needs.  We spend $240 billion on shopping at Christmas;  $10 billion would solve the global clean water crisis.  It’s pretty stunning to consider how unbalanced those figures (and our priorities) are.

So, this year at our church, we are taking a special collection each week to split between a local ministry and giving to a clean water initiative called LifeStraw.  Our local ministry involves massive quantities of socks and underwear to give to the Catholic Charities Christmas Store, a place for low income families to find free items for their families at Christmas.  It’s been an adventure to make weekly trips to Walmart to make these purchases.  Check out the photos.

Christel loved being pushed on the swing.

Estuardo has the best smile.  He’s brilliant, too.

Alejandra and her bling.  Every day we went back, she was wearing it, even in her pajamas.

Isabel wanted to be held all the time and was happiest when being hugged.

Beautiful Milli.

Jose’ is the little boy with the brain tumor.  He’s doing better in the care of the Buckner staff.

I just want to smooch Leslie’s cheeks right off her face!

My old friend, Marcos.

Tito is one of my favorites.  He loves to throw the ball around and he loves to tap my shoulder and then run away.

Juan Pablo borrowed my camera and my bed one morning!

Freddy knows some English, and it was good to talk to him about his time at San Gabriel.

This is our last day in Guatemala, at least for this trip.  We spent the day at San Gabriel, a boys´orphanage that we have visited in the past.  There have been a lot of changes there, with turnover in the names and faces we have seen in the past 12 months.  I still saw some familiar faces in Humberto, William, and Dany.  Some of the boys are pretty rough and disrespectful, but there are still glimpses of hope and goodness in brief conversations with boys like Freddy, who shared about his previous home and his current stay at San Gabriel.  We spent time talking with the boys and building relationships, but of course, nothing holds a candle to the gifts we bring.  Maybe someday they will react as strongly to the prospect of our friendship.

We ended our day with a bright spot.  John and Emily had spent the day with Juan Pablo and were due to return him to the babies´home.  I was glad to accompany them and see the kids again today.  I hugged as many of the kids as I could, but went looking for Milli and Christel.  Milli was in her walker, motoring around the dining area.  I sat down near her, and she smiled at me and extended her finger, remembering our touch from yesterday.  So sweet.  Then Christel came into the room.  I put out my arms, and she came straight over into my embrace.  I held her against my chest and rubbed her back for the longest time.  She just lay her head on my shoulder.  Rachael later told me that she could see what I couldn´t: that Christel was just laying contentedly looking out the window, resting in my arms.  It was one of those precious moments with God and His children, experiencing the rightness of doing His work and caring for those He holds close to His own heart.  Christel especially has captured my heart, and I prayed for her future to be full of God´s love, however He can bring it to her.  It was sad to walk out the door, followed by Milli in her saucer and Danny with his hugs.  It makes our next trip seem so far off.

It has been a good and productive trip, though I´m still processing all the experiences and the plans for our future in Guatemala.  I´ll post lots of photos as soon as possible.  Home in 24 hours…

Today was a wonderful and fruitful day with the kids.  We started our day with a visit to the babies home.  Our plan was to take the babies to the children´s museum while John and Emily were at the Embassy for their meeting.   Shortly after we arrived at the home, we got a call from them reporting that everything had gone as we had prayed; Juan Pablo should be coming home in to Indiana in about 7 weeks!  They need to get another birth certificate and spend a bit more time with him in Guatemala, but their family will be together so very soon.

We had a great time at the museum, but the special moments for me today were spent with the kids.  Milli (short for ¨miracle¨) is very reserved and stoic, and she isn´t one to give a hug.  Yesterday, she moved away from my touch.  Milli is 3 years old, but she is smaller than my nephew who is 20 months old.  She was found in a dumpster, and she is growing in health.  Today I sat with her and eased my way closer.  I eventually offered her one finger, and she touched her hand to mine.  It was lovely.  Maybe she grows in trust in small increments through loving acts, and it´s visits like these that bring healing.

This afternoon was spent at Eliza Martinez.  We visited those boys in August in their home in the city, but they have a beautiful new home in the country with plenty of room to play outside.  They have a school on site, closets of their own, and comforters with super heroes, just like a kid should.  When we pulled into the drive, I was so excited to see who was there, and there they were!  Tito, Ambrosio, Miguel, Marcos, Mario, Isaias, Hernan, David…the gang´s all here.  We met with the boys and shared with them how we have missed them and want to continue to visit and write and have relationships with them.  We passed out t shirts and socks, and we found out more information about these kids.  I talked to Marcos for a while and found that he was in a different orphanage before he was here and he has no family other than cousins.  I found out that David´s mother worked for a circus and kept him in a cage with lions for 11 years.  That sounds inconceivable to me.  Several of the boys don´t know their birthdays or last names.  Also hard to swallow.  There is so much to their histories, so many blank spaces or areas filled with abuse and neglect, but here I am in the moment with them.  I see their humor and intelligence in their eyes, the longing that they have for human touch and being connected to someone else, the way they wait around to get my undivided attention for a few moments.   We prayed for the boys as a group, and then one of the boys offered to pray for us.  Talk about being humbled…being the recipient of the prayers of an orphan.

I´m so glad to be here this week and to spend time with these kids who are deeply imbedded in my mind and my heart.  I continue to pray for them and for their futures.  I´m grateful to be witness to the good that God is bringing them already.  Tomorrow we will visit San Gabriel to visit another group of boys, and then we fly home on Sunday.  See you soon.

Every time I fly into Guatemala City, I am mezmerized by the green and orange lights.  The city looks different from the sky than any other city I´ve flown into.  When I see those lights, it´s like my heart sighs with the goodness of returning to this county and these people.  We were concerned about locating our driver and car when we arrived, but as I scanned the crowd outside the airport, I saw Roberto, who had helped us on our first mission trip over 2 years ago.  Then I saw Amed, Chiqui, Sergio and 4 new friends from Dallas.  There were hugs and kisses all around, as well as an impromptu prayer for John and Emily on the sidewalk.  What a welcome to Guatemala!

If that wasn´t enough, there were little girls and boys running to me with hugs and kisses today.  Rachael brought some photos that she had taken on the August trip to give to the children.  Christel showed me the photo of the 2 of us, smiling all the while.  She´s the one in the tiara, by the way.  It is good to be remembered by the children, and to be able to draw on my own memory to remind them of our last visit and the games we played together. 

Tomorrow we are going to visit at Eliza Martinez to talk to the boys about our vision to spend more time with them and develop deeper connections with them.  We want to wrap our time with them around the knowledge and understanding that we had a great time with them when we saw them last, we´ve been remembering our time together since then, and we´re back to see them again because they are important to us.  We can give the kids more stuff, but it´s the relational connections that build memories, and that´s also the way we show them the love and affection of God.

We ask for your prayers as we flesh out what that process looks like, as we look to building deeper relationships with the boys in the orphanages here in Guatemala City.  We are also praying for John and Emily as they have a meeting in the morning with a high official in the U.S. Embassy who has the authority to push their adoption through quickly.  Please join us in our prayers.

Today was our day with the babies home, and plans changed througout the day.  We had a wonderful time playing with the babies on the swings, slide, giving airplane rides, and just holding and hugging.  John and Emily went to meet with their lawyer about the impending adoption of Juan Pablo, and they had great news from the Guatemalan government; not such good news from the U.S. Embassy.  We continue to pray for a miracle and a quick resolution for their family.

We met up with some new friends from the States, Karen, Brian, Bob, and Laura.  They took us and the toddlers to Pizza Hut for lunch and playing on the Play Land.  It was a good time with the kids and a good time of fellowship with other believers who are committed to the lives of these orphans.

I learned more about some of the children we spent time with today.  There is a little boy named Jose´and as I was hearing his story, I realized that we had met him in Sergio´s clinic in August.  He has a brain tumor and wasn´t expected to live days after our visit, yet he is improved and receiving loving care by people in this babies´home.  I also heard about Alejandra who is new to the home.  She is 6 years old and recently placed because of repeated, long term sexual abuse.  The younger Alejandra was in the hospital today related to her hydroencephalopathy and spina bifida.  She isn´t expected to live much longer, but I had a great conversation with their caregiver Jenny about the loving care that they can give all these children, even the dying.  It grabbed my attention, too, that I have done some work with death and dying and the effect on children, and maybe there´s an unexpected role to play in offering support to these children with heavy burdens.  There is certainly something painful about hearing these awful stories, but there is something good about how they are here, receiving the love that others may not offer them.

And then there is Christel and Isabel, two beautiful girls who grow in health and happiness.  Christel has a new artificial eye and evidently, she looks at her self in the mirror and says ¨beautiful¨.  Isabel is motoring around like she wasn´t delayed in her walking.  They smile so wide and so often, I can´t help but smile until my own cheeks hurt.  They are all such lovely children of God, and you don´t even notice their superficial imperfections.  They take care of one another and are quick to offer a hug and a kiss.  They are a joy to my heart, and they are the reason I come.

Internet problems abound in Guatemala, so I´m posting from a desktop in the Buckner offices.  No photos today.  Imagine a picture of Christel in my arms with tacky jewelry and a huge smile.  Imagine Estuardo playing hopscotch.  Imagine Daniel sitting on Nate´s lap like he belongs there.  It was a great day.

Jody contacted me briefly this morning (very briefly; less than a 60 second call) asking me to update her blog letting everyone know that they’ve arrived safely in Guatemala but that they do not have Internet access today. Ideally their service should be restored soon so we can get timely updates but we’ll just have to see how it goes.

Watch this blog for all the details!

-Shawn

I’m leaving today for Guatemala for the third time this year, which is exciting and not quite what I imagined for myself as a kid.  Come to find out, I love missions, orphans, and Guatemala.  For those of you following along, I’ll be posting here of our day’s experiences each evening.  Traveling with me: John and Emily Wiggins and Nate and Rachael Brown.  The Browns are working on developing some deeper relationships with the boys at some of the orphanages we visit, as well as creating opportunities for more people in our church to participate in their lives, despite the distance.  The Wiggins are visiting Juan Pablo, the lovely little boy they are trying to adopt.  We are all praying for their meeting with a judge this week regarding the adoption.  We’ll be at the Buckner Babies’ Home on Thursday, Eliza Martinez (visiting Marcos, Mario, Tito, Ambrosio, etc.) on Friday, and San Gabriel on Saturday.

See you soon.

Things have been nuts in my life lately, with preparing for the next trip to Guatemala, covering for a co-worker at the office, carving out extra time with the family, and the list goes on.  I went to visit Paula and Greg and their kids this weekend, spending some time on Saturday night and Sunday morning in Greentown, IN.  When they lived much closer, I’d run over to their house regularly and spend time having dinner, helping with stuff in the house, and always ending up sitting on the couch catching up.  We did that again this time, though in a different house on a different couch, and it was so good to be there with these friends.  I love the welcome of their home, the sounds of putting the kids to bed, the way I can find peace in the midst of their busy household.

And then there was church on Sunday morning.  Paula had written a song that she and Greg were to sing in their church, and it was so beautiful.  The way the words told of the love and mercy of our Lord, the “long awaited Lamb”, so touched my heart and drew me to a place of worship that I hadn’t expected in this church that isn’t my own.  There was an image in the song of the crucifixion followed by thousands upon thousands of angels singing in reverence and worship, and there was a thin barrier between that heavenly host and the voices lifting to God in a small, country church.  It was beautiful.

My time with them ended over lunch at Greg’s parents’ home, sitting around the table with the family, passing around the pot roast and potatoes, just like when I was a kid, coming home after church.  It was a peaceful oasis in the midst of life, and I am looking forward to the next.

I’m half way through the Indiana Chapter of the NASW (National Association of Social Workers) conference in Indianapolis.  I look forward to the chance to learn some new material and techniques, reconnect with other social workers, and be encouraged by others who struggle with some of the same frustration and compassion fatigue that I do.  This afternoon’s workshop was entitled “The Ethics of Self Care”, and there was some material that really grabbed me by the throat.  Social workers are above average for risk of burnout and compassion fatigue.  Not a surprise, but it got my attention when spoken aloud.

In the past few weeks, I’ve found myself feeling rundown and stressed and not doing a very good job of taking care of myself.  The speaker today quoted an author (John Norcross) while talking about why it is that social workers know how to tell clients to take care of themselves, but they tend toward self-neglect in certain areas, and he said “It’s easier to be wise and mature with others than ourselves.”  He asked the room why that is.  Why do we not take the good advice we give others?  We don’t heed the airline’s advice to put on our own oxygen mask before we help our neighbor.  Someone in the back of the room suggested that it may be shame about being seen as needy.  Gulp.  She said out loud what I fear in my gut: God forbid someone see me as needy.

So, I sit in a hotel in Indianapolis, doing some of that self care.  My brain is still processing some of the discussion about taking care of myself and what that may look like in practice in my life.  For the moment it means a hot shower, clean sheets, and a little Iron Chef America.  What do you need to do to take care of yourself?